"A majority of the news about Muslims in North America rarely seems to be produced from an informative point of view. Rather, the public is given unhealthy doses of sensational and unrepresentative stories about incidences of domestic violence, honor killings and child abuse in the Muslim community. What the media fails to mention is that among the six to eight million Muslims in North America, abuse is rare."- Altaf Husain
On a single day in September 2008, 60,799 victims of domestic violence were served by domestic violence programs across the country.
Classic western theory of why men become abusers of their wives inside the domestic environment revolves around power and control issues. The hypothesis is that men have an insatiable need to control their wives. There are theories as to why this is so, including that men are insecure, or have poor self esteem. None of these theories touches upon a need to have a faith- value based God centered family structure, or that the destruction, or the inability to establish a family that might be at the root of a man's inability to establish the "self esteem" necessary to effectively lead a family.
Below is a list of the most commonly mentioned factors that contribute to a man's tendency to be violent with his wife. •The abuser/batterer sees women as objects. He does not view women as people. He has no respect for women as a group. He sees women as property and sexual objects. •An abuser/batterer has low self-esteem. He feels powerless and ineffective. Although he may appear to be successful, inside he feels inadequate.
• An abuser/batterer finds external excuses for his behavior. He will blame his violence on having had a bad day, alcohol or drug use, his partner’s behavior or anything that comes to mind to excuse his violent actions.
•He may be charming and pleasant between his acts of violence. Outsiders may view him as a nice guy.
•An abuser/batterer may display some warning signs such as: a bad temper, cruelty to animals, extreme jealousy, possessiveness, verbal abuse and/or unpredictability. It is also commonly noted that most abusers have in common the following factors: • Use violence and emotional abuse to control their families. •Believe that they have the right to behave in whatever way they choose while in their own home.
•Think that a ‘real’ man should be tough, powerful and the head of the household. They may believe that they should make most of the decisions, including about how money is spent.
•Believe that men are entitled to sex from their partners.
•Don’t take responsibility for their behavior and prefer to think that loved ones or circumstances provoked their behavior.
•Make excuses for their violence: for example, they will blame alcohol or stress.
•Report ‘losing control’ when angry around their families, but can control their anger around other people. They don’t tend to use violence in other situations: for example, around friends, bosses, work colleagues or the police.